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Tuesday 7th July

I moved the sofa today and as I did it something clicked in my back and now I’m in agony!

Wednesday 8th July

Back is still horrendous I can’t straighten it so am walking around hunched over like I have a broom up my arse….

The Government have announced their covid spending spree including job retention bonuses, stamp duty cut, green homes grant, half price food at participating restaurants through August, and support for young workers. This all looks and sounds great but I am having a hard time understanding how a government that has been so big on austerity measures could now suddenly be ok with and have billions of pounds to spend on all of these schemes. Are they simply just heading to the bank of England and setting the machines to ‘print’ ??!! 

Thursday 9th July

My back started to feel better today but I went to a shopping centre to get some bits and I had parked outside B&Q, as I returned to my car there was this lady struggling with a bag of compost. I swear the bag was as big as her and she was trying (and failing) to lift it into her car…..I would normally have offered to help immediately but because of the virus i’m really aware of invading people’s space. She actually asked me for help and was more than happy for me to get all up in her space as we wrestled it into her boot. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that my back was bad and that I’d heard it click again….only time will tell if its clicked it back into place or if I am destined to walk like I have a stick up my arse indefinitely!

After dropping some supplies over to the in laws and doing the usual social distanced garden chat I drove home. As I was driving I had the feeling that something was biting and stinging me on the bottom of my back, my bum and my legs. After initially thinking I had brushed up against stinging nettles I  became convinced that I had actual ants in my pants and the pain was horrendous….I had to pull over jump out of the car, remove my trousers and shake them out it was that unbearable! Luckily they live in the middle of no where and this particular road was empty so no one witnessed my moment of absolute madness except my bemused 17 month old.

Friday 10th July

Checked my body I am covered in the most massive bites I still have no idea what it was but it was evil clearly very angry at being stuck in my pants! In other news my back is much better so helping that woman might have actually clicked it back into place.

During cooking this evening, I went to get something from my cupboard and discovered that a tin of black treacle had overturned with the lid not on properly. I’m not sure how long it had been like this but the entire shelf, with the exception of possibly 10cm  was covered in a thick layer of treacle.

After the clean up operation of the treacle I thought that the kitchen debacles would be over however at about 2am this morning I woke up to a load of smoke and a strong smell of burning coming from the kitchen….after jumping out of bed I discovered that Joe had fallen asleep whilst cooking down fruit for a fucking compote and burnt the entirety to the bottom of a saucepan, my back has jarred again FML!!

Saturday 11th July

The pain is actually unbearable and my house smells like burnt compote.

Sunday 12th July

Went to the grandparents today and had one of grandma Di’s legendary paella’s we even created a socially distanced dining terrace outside so it was kind of like we were all sat together.

Monday 13th July

Last week of school before the summer holidays – yay, more ‘quality’ family time, just what we all need more of.

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